S2E08 with Archer Gray - Unmasked and Unapologetic

Meet Archer Gray, a beautiful, compassionate, and inspiring trans man who first joined me on the podcast in June 2024. In that episode, Archer courageously shared his transition journey—from female to male—for the first time, opening up about the challenges and triumphs of the life-changing experience that began for him in 2021.

With the ongoing attacks on the LGBTQ+ community, particularly against trans individuals, I knew it was time to bring Archer back to share where his journey has taken him since. His unapologetic authenticity is magnetic, and for those who truly take the time to see him, his honesty is both powerful and deeply moving.

Through his social media platforms, Archer continues to document his remarkable path with humor, raw vulnerability, and an unwavering commitment to his own truth. More than that, he creates a space for others who may be struggling to find safety, visibility, and respect during their own trans journey.

I’ve followed Archer for some time now, and not only is he someone that I have the privilege of calling my friend, his powerful content never fails to take me on an emotional ride, bringing moments of uncontrollable laughter and deeply meaningful tears. Archer is a true change-maker, and our world is undeniably better with him in it.

To follow Archer on Instagram, visit: https://www.instagram.com/archer_fit757/

To follow Archer in YouTube, visit: https://www.youtube.com/@Archer_fit757

Thank you for joining us and we can't wait to welcome you back again next week! New episodes drop every Thursday and can be found wherever you find your favorite podcasts!  

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Want to learn more about our host, Eric Nicoll?  Visit:  https://ericnicoll.com

Transcript

0:05

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the just to you podcast. My name is Eric Nicole, and I'm your host. If you are a first time listener, welcome to the conversation. And if you're a regular, I'm honored that you've decided to join me for another episode. The just to you podcast is centered around a network of conversations, which are meant to connect us to inspire us to find our own confidence, our own voice, and to live our own truth. And who knows, we might even learn a little something new that ultimately allows us to live in the sweet spot that I like to call the just you, you space of being. Each week I have the privilege of sitting down for unscripted conversations with friends, family, colleagues, community leaders, and influencers that all share their own personal journeys. I hope that you enjoy our time together as much as I have. We are certainly gonna laugh, and yes, we might even cry a little, but in the end, we're gonna know that we're not alone during our life's journey. So, are you ready? Great, let's do this. Welcome to the conversation. All right, everyone. Welcome to today's episode. I am incredibly honored and excited to welcome back a very special guest. I first sat down with this guest in June of 2024. So our podcast was relatively new. I reached out to him on Instagram and asked if he would come join me for an episode and he graciously accepted. And so I'm going to welcome back today, Archer Gray. Hey, Archer. Hey. How are you? Thanks for having me back. Good. Of course. Of course. We were talking a little bit before we hit record, and it's almost been a year since we sat down on the gesture you podcast and you spent some time with us sharing your amazing journey transitioning from female to male. And I had come across your Instagram. Feed while scrolling one morning and was really taken by the amazingly positive and cheerful and thought provoking and inspirational posts that you were making on your page. And I knew that I had to get to know you and hear a little bit of your story. And over the course of that hour that we spent together, you openly shared about your transitions. It's the first time I believe you really shared that publicly and. It, to this day, remains the number one downloaded podcast episode of season one. And so I wanted to bring you back today. Obviously, we are in a very interesting time. It is a very difficult time for our community, especially the trans community. And so I'm incredibly grateful that you agreed to come on today. So welcome back. Thank you. I'm really grateful to be here and hopefully maybe can. Be of some help and or positivity for whoever needs to hear it. I think that's important. And one of the reasons why I wanted you on was because I, again, religiously follow you and have watched a lot of your posts. I'll admit one of five profiles that I watch religiously. But as I said earlier I'm consistently amazed and. Drawn to your positivity, but I also know that behind that you're a human being and you are part of a community that is under attack and is being put under a microscope and yet you continue day after day to muster up this energy to share your life and to share your thoughts and to share your journey continuously in a very positive way, but a very real way. And I want our listeners to also know that the conversations that you're having with us on your social media are Pretty powerful. And responding to a lot of comments, whether they're positive or negative comments. So I wanted to talk to you a little bit about that before we get into the meat of this conversation, but I am just, again, checking in with you, seeing how you're doing, making sure that all is well what's going through your mind today as we start this conversation? I guess that's feels like a loaded question these days. For the most part it has been difficult since January 20th just to see the outright attempt at just erasing an entire group of people who make up Less than 1 percent of the population has been absolutely mind blowing to watch. And I guess just to feel this hate for whatever reason that I just don't really understand is sad. Sometimes I'm definitely sad in the process, but I know that I've tried to take a step back and really come into my own as far as what can I control? How can I control it? And what can I do so that I can't just sit here and free heart attack, stress myself out every day. Knowing I can't change his mind, I can't walk into the White House and go, Hey, you shouldn't do that. And that he's going to go, okay, that sounds great. I wish that would be great. But that we do still have daily lives. That we have to find a way to muster through and so if I can show somewhat positivity, some inspiration, some light at some capacity, then that's what I still try and put on and it's not really a mask for everybody. It is how I feel. And I know that I feel better as a light, so to speak. And so I want to share it because even before all this, and I mentioned in my first one, I went through this alone. I was so alone and so dark and miserable that I don't want anybody to feel that way. And so it's like stepping up again and going, I can't allow myself to feel that because there is that person that just realized who they were yesterday and now they're realizing it in this time frame. And so whatever ray of sunshine they're able to get ahold of that I might. But out there, then I want them to have it all of them so that they can have their own little ray of sunshine, whatever that looks like. I can honestly say that you are a ray of sunshine to so many people. I don't doubt that for a second. I want to just to tell our listeners that haven't yet listened to the first episode. Your 2021. Is that correct? Yes. So for those listening, please go back and listen to that first episode. You'll be glad that you did, but that began back in 2021. We're obviously 2025, not a lot of time, not a lot of time, but a transition. Nonetheless, that has been. Remarkable in many ways. You are obviously incredibly handsome. You are someone who smiles and. you can feel it. You can sense that compassion and that caring. So that's super powerful. You're also funny as hell. I just love some of the responses that you give to some of the, let's just call it what it is, the hate that you get or the responses that you get and your responses with your music choices. And your facial expressions and your comments just give me life. I, and I'm not going through the struggle, but I still just so can relate and can so be in that space and so grateful to you that you're out there doing that for those that are struggling. We're all struggling, but for the trans community in particular, who's struggling through that, I'm curious. When you look back at 2020, 2021, we were obviously going through a very interesting time back then as well. There was a lot of other things that we were going that we were having to deal with, but you look at it now. Do you sense that there is an even greater. Emphasis and attack put on this less than 1 percent of the population that it was back then I really wasn't aware of it back then. But you were obviously going through that. Do you see a big difference? Or is it just more of the same? I see a big difference. I feel like I was safe, Not that there wasn't going to be some people that didn't agree and not that there wasn't going to be some hate, but to the magnitude that it is today, I think, it's definitely increased. I feel like hate has has increased all across the board. It's just easier. I've seen creators where their platform has blown up because they're hateful. And they're preaching to the group of people who are also hateful, and so they have these large followings where then you have people that are authentic and kind and gentle where they grow slower because it's a lot harder to have that growth when it's not it. Driven by something that everybody can get on board with, and right now the fire that is feeding everything is and I guess hate is a strong word, I don't know, just disagreeing no, hate, I'm just gonna say it. It's hate, Archie, let's call it what it is. It is, it's because fate is fate. And it's sad to see the hate, because there's always been like the discomfort, and I've always been willing to educate, but the level of I'm just trying to figure you out because I genuinely don't understand from the bottom of my heart, versus I just hate you because. I think has increased tenfold. Hold there for a second. Say that again, because I think that's super powerful. Can you say that again? No, so My ADHD? No I hate you because you're different, or you're going to say it much better than I do. But the point that you were saying was, is that let me say it my way. Let's go there. I'm going to say it my way. I have said, and I believe in this kind of thought process of what I call bandwagon jumpers. And I've used this statement in many of my episodes specifically in the last three, because of what we're seeing out in social media and on the news is, did you actually think that thought, or did the thought think you? Meaning, do I hate you because I've done the research, I've sat down, I've gotten to know you, I've gotten to be educated, I understand the trans community, the LGBTQI community, and I still hate you? Or I hate you because I saw it somewhere that I'm supposed to hate you. Yeah do you hate me because your first trans person robbed you and hit you with a crowbar? Or why, because somebody said, They're terrible. And I think we can attach that comment to so much of what we're seeing happen, because I really don't, again, maybe it's just my heart that speaks, but I really don't think that so many of the people that are jumping on this bandwagon, number one, have ever sat down and had a conversation with someone like you, or someone from the community, or have had an experience where it's been. an effect to them. And so they take it and they run with it and it builds and it grows and it's festering is the word that I'm liking to this moment that we're in festering. But it's not really a thought process. And I admitted this to, Bambi Salcedo from the trans Latin coalition. And I was telling her that, prior to sitting down with you back in June, I didn't know personally someone that was trans. And so I had my own. conversation about it not negative, but my own conversation didn't necessarily understand it. And it wasn't until I sat down and spent time with you and then really got into this conversation with you that it shifted the way that I thought. Now I'm a member of the community, right? So therefore I should have that empathy, correct? But it still changed my thought process and my perception and so I've said all along with this kind of does that thought thank you or did you think the thought is we are not going to be able to see any type of change let alone feel that we are the ones that are out making the difference if we stop talking about it and we stop educating about it because in doing so it's going to click for someone and I always said when I did the podcast episode with you, I didn't know if we'd have 10 listeners, 10, 000 listeners. I wasn't sure you to this day, like I said, still remain the number one download podcast. So we obviously had something that people resonated with and learned from. And I say that if we helped one or two people. That may be going through their transition out of that episode. Then you and I did our job and we made the impact. And so when I see you constantly daily out dealing with this, there's a part of me that wants to like, get in the car and drive to the city that you live in and give you a hug. And there's another part of me that wants to continue to cheer you on from the sidelines saying you are seen, you are heard, you are valued, you are respected and give you that opportunity to stand in that difference that you make. So that you're not alone, because you did go through this alone in the beginning. And so I'm clear that people like you and Bambi and the others that are out, that are really champing, championing for this trans community are out making an impact. So when you are I'm curious, faced with this kind of negative comment that comes in off of one of your feeds, what's the very first thing that runs through your mind? You get someone who says X, Y, and Z. What's the first thing that you think? So there's a couple. So sometimes it just depends and that's where it comes down to. I am still human and sometimes it does bother me, sometimes it is then that I. Look at myself based off what is said and I just want to get on there and be like, nah, that's not true. I am water, you are glue or whatever it's called. And then it's like I take a step back and something that I've learned more recent, would be the it really has nothing to do with you. And I think once you can have that complete mindset of normal people. And I hate to say normal in kind of that word, but in reality, whatever that looks like, there is a normal people do not go around trying to bring down and destroy other humans for fun. That is not what normal. people would do. To me, if you are seeing a video of mine and it triggers you, then that's their issue. That's their underlying whatever they need to face, and they're just behind a keyboard saying whatever they want to try and get a rise out of me, to try and hurt my feelings, to try and push me into a place of depression and despair, and to ultimately shut me up because Anybody that consistently gets negative comments after negative comments, it's going to eventually take a toll. So having to take that step back and be like, You are having your own issues and your own whatever that you are feeling, and I am so sorry that you are feeling that way. I hope that you figure it out. I hope that you find peace. But it's not anything to do with me. And I think there's been multiple times where people have said, Why don't you just live your life? Stop bringing it onto social media. We don't want to see it. What don't you want to see? Because I'm normal. I am doing me and who I am, and I am bringing awareness to that. If you're saying that, then you need to say that to everybody that's posting their life on social media. Just go live your life. Stop posting anything on social media and talking about your day. You don't like it because it's different. You don't like it because I'm not a girl in a bikini with big boobs or a guy that you you know, a cisgender man or cisgender female with these body parts or whatever that you want to see. So you're condemning me. I'm just living my life and how you choose to show up and what it bothers or says. To you speaks volumes of you. And I think once anybody can learn that, then you can deal with it. So I asked you before we hopped on, or I told you I should say that I was gonna ask you a question. So this is the perfect time to ask that question. The people that are coming at the community, at you, our community. What do you think they're afraid of most of all? Authenticity. Talk about that. I think there's an issue with seeing someone being so happy in their own skin and being their true authentic self and not this mask or this fake that you are, and as a trans community, we had to be fake and had to have these masks and had to have this identity that never really related to us. So who I was before transition, who I attempted to be and what I had to show up as every day. And the nails on the chalkboard feeling of living in this skin that I absolutely hated, that was my mask. And so you're seeing trans people take that off for the first time and living authentically. And most people in society never take off their mask. So I think you're mad that I can do it and you can't, but that has everything to do with you and not me. So you could have probably read Bambi's response to what I asked her yesterday, but what I'm finding so fascinating is and quite honestly relevant is that everyone's pissed off that. Our community is out living their authentic lives, as are many other marginalized communities that are out just living their lives. And this group of people can't handle it. And so what they need is a friend of mine who is a somatic healer, and we just need a big old life regression session, just take you back. So you can handle all those issues that you had growing up as a child, where you were told you can't be do or have what you want. Because you're still living your life at whatever age you're at in this conversation that it's not fair that I don't get to live my life and have the things that I want. I love what you said earlier, and I'm going to say it and put it on a t shirt. And that is, is that this is on you. This is on you. You don't want to watch my posts? Don't follow me. You don't want to watch how I live my life? Find another channel. You don't want to go to my YouTube? Don't go to my YouTube channel. This is the part that I think is so fascinating to me. Fascinating is not the word. It's mind boggling that these I guess we call them trolls on social media are out just looking for ways to bring people down. They have a great role model. They see it every day, bring people down, mock people, tear people down. Don't build them up. Don't lift them up. And, say what you will about our former VP, but. One of the messages that she gave during her campaign for president was that she wants to lift people up She wants to have people be that true authentic self. And I think that's the thing that I am most Angry about is that we don't have that opportunity now to express that because we're dodging it's crazy. So when I hear you say that You live this authentic life and you're out just being yourself and you brought a pretty consistent basis are Sharing your intimate thoughts with these videos. What goes through your head? Is this for you? Is it for others? Who's who is that really for? I think it's a little bit of both at this point it's for me so that I don't carry everything and so it's not so heavy but then it's Maybe somebody else didn't think of it. Maybe somebody else didn't have the opportunity to. And I guess recently. I think it comes down to it's just, I just like educating. I like helping. And so whatever helping looks like for that person, if they can get something out of it, then great. And I've had people that have reached out and asked me genuine questions in the DM. I'm not going to get mad. I guess that's the thing is like, there's a, how do I say it? I've lost the word. There's this, stereotype of when people try to ask trans people questions they're met with hate or they're met with transphobia because they're defensive and maybe they have every right to be defensive. But I try to approach it with a very kind, clean slate, because not everybody is great at asking questions and the Best way, but they're seeking to understand. And I will always be kind to somebody that's seeking to understand. And even if you say it, and maybe a little bit more of a callous tone, I'm still going to try and educate appropriately because you just don't know. So I think I'm consistently trying to put myself out right now for somebody to see and be like, we are less than 1 percent of the population. So if you don't know a trans person, if you do not. engage with them or hang out with them or have met one, then you have this idea of what trans people are and that's all you have. And so if you can't ask those questions or wrap your head around it, then when somebody over here just mentions trans and you're in this, I just don't like it, then that's going to be your answer. Instead of, oh I saw this or I learned this or this one said this and this one showed me and they're just normal people living their life. So I think it's a bit of both. It's for me. I enjoy it. I have fun. I love helping people, but I'm putting it out there so that hopefully the right person can see it. Algorithm because my videos pop up randomly. If you don't engage with videos, they go away. But the second that you comment, even negatively Instagram and all that, they're not reading your comments to be like, I hate your post. And they're not going, oh, they didn't like it. I'm not going to show him more stuff. They're like you engaged the second that you touch that video and you send a hate comment, they are going to think you love his stuff and I'm going to bombard you with it now. So that's what people say. Cause they're like, I wasn't looking for it. Okay, but you commented, guess what? And now it's going to show up everywhere and all your social media platforms. Yep, exactly. And so I'm like, it's a guessing game, like Instagram and YouTube, but they throw out random videos because. They're trying to see what you like. They're trying to narrow down your own algorithm. So if all of a sudden you're getting a bunch of trans spam, you did something. Because they're now thinking that you like. So you searched for something, you liked something, here you go. We'll just use raincoats as an example. The minute you search raincoats. Yeah. on Google, it's going to show up in all your social media fees, every raincoat possible, right? So you pick the topic, it's going to happen. It's going to happen. And I asked the question, did you do it? Do you do it for you? Or do you do it for the viewer? Because, when I first came across your profile, I just happened to be flipping through you popped up. Obviously I had done some sort of, search, but you popped up and I was like, Oh gosh, this guy's really good looking. And he's funny. And he's doing this song and this lip sync. And I started flipping through your, your feed. And I was like, I got down close towards the bottom and I was like, Oh, okay. He's trans. I had no clue. And so what I loved about that, and I've told so many people about that is again, had I met you. At an event, I would have been the kind of cool dude, great guy, super, super great. Not knowing your backstory. The fact that I actually got to learn the backstory is again, what has then caused me to then ripple out to other friends and other people that I've talked to about the trans community, how important it is that we pull together and that leads me right into my next conversation with you that I think is super important because it's coming up. Quite a bit. And again, I've had this conversation the last three or four weeks. I'm a little confused and a little frustrated at this T all of a sudden missing off the LGBTQ acronym. We don't have to go too far down the rabbit hole on that, but I'm curious as to what your thoughts are because I have my thoughts, but I'm curious what your thoughts are. My thoughts are it's disappointing. And I've heard other people's thoughts, why they think that it shouldn't be a part of the LGB, because that is sexuality and, there's gender identity. But there's more past the T that, I guess if you want to drop it, then add it, but to me, it's, I'm going to say it as lack of growth. It's lack of open minded in the LGB. Because you are saying we would like to stay in the 70s and in the 80s, and we don't want to grow, and we don't want to move forward, and we don't want to be progressive, and yet we're supposed to be one of the most progressive groups. Because we're teaching everybody that, hey, not everybody's the same, and that we're different, and we fought to have the same rights. I see gender identity and I do understand that, but then there's still trans men that want to be with men. So that still makes them gay, right? Or trans women that still want women, so that makes them a lesbian, right? So then it comes back down to parts. And everybody's as I've heard many lesbians say I couldn't be with a trans woman because they may have a part that I don't like, and so then they're called transphobic, and I disagree, and that should not be something that is said, I don't find that to be transphobic, because I could say that I am a parts person, and I don't mean that I don't see a trans woman as a woman, I absolutely do, but I cannot mentally or physically wrap my head around it. Does that make me transphobic as a trans man? I don't think so. I think it's just a personal preference. But I would never discredit that trans woman as a woman. You are still a woman to me. Absolutely. But we all have those. If there is a trans man that likes men, and that man, as a gay man, is he could have, I would like to have parts. That's what he prefers. That doesn't make anybody transphobic or homophobic towards each other at all. I think it's just preferences. So why is it that we're allowed to have preferences of, I don't date redheads, I prefer brunettes, I don't like blondes, I like blue eyes, I like We all have preferences in what we see and want in somebody that we want to be with romantically and, physically in that realm. Why isn't it the same? And all of a sudden now it's taken as an extreme and then you're throwing in the slur of you're transphobic if you don't want to be with me. I think we need to stop that. I think we need to come together as a community and just be like, I understand that I just might not be it for you on that realm and that's okay. And once we understand that everybody has preferences, that's okay. Then I think we can move through whatever this murky water is, and hopefully wade back into the crystal clear water, because we are all each other's God. And people say that trans people didn't fight for the lesbian and gay community, and they did. They were a lot of the first people to help stand next to lesbians and stand next to gays and fight for them to have the same rights. And the T wasn't even added on until the 90s. I did back research and I was like let me look and it wasn't added until the late 90s. So people are coming saying that this is our fault, that because of the trans behavior. That's why gay marriage is going back to the Supreme Court. It has nothing to do with our hate. I'm like, when I heard a creator say that, I was like whoa. It's not my fault. It's not our fault. The fault is that you're creating this divide, and what I see, and what this is equivalent to me, is back in the Holocaust, when you had your Jews for Hitler. So just cause you're saying that you're a lesbian, gay, bisexual, that's on this conservative side, and that you agree that the T and everything else should be, that they're the problem child, you think that once they're eradicated, they're not gonna also turn back around and go, Hey, guess what? You're just helping them do it faster instead of being a community and in my Youtube video where I had mentioned I said this is exactly like to me the part in harry potter Where I got her name luna lovegood because I had a whole brain fart on her name. So Where harry was going through this? isolation of friends and trying to do what he needed to do to beat voldemort by himself and he was like I don't want to drag anybody into it. I don't want to do that and she said I feel like that's exactly what he wants you to do, because you by yourself, you're not as much of a threat, and so if we're doing that to our own community instead of coming together, we are much bigger as the LGBTQIA than just the T, or just the L, or just the G, and so it's not 1%, it's I don't even know, but I'm going to say it's more than 1 percent if you add everybody that identifies with the LGBT and guess who's, more of a threat, who can get things done, who can we try and then say, we all fit together because we don't fit in this box. Yeah I've, so well put and powerful, I have struggled with this for many years in conversations with my lesbian friends, my now trans friends that there is this righteousness and this kind of cisgendered, gay, white, male kind of attitude that I am sometimes not sometimes, I'm just going to say it, embarrassed to be lumped into because it's not how I feel. I always would ask my lesbian friends out the desert, why don't I ever see you out? Why aren't you ever? Such and such event. Why aren't you there? Or why aren't you at pride? And it was always we don't have a seat at your table. And it would make me feel so insignificant and so like awful that. A part of my community that I wanted to know and wanted to be a part of didn't feel that they had a seat at my table said the same thing when I started this organization here in San Diego, the Latina community was like, we don't have a seat at your table, the Asian Pacific Islander community, we don't have a seat at your table, the black community, we don't have a seat at your table. And I kept saying, Where is this damn table? I don't know this table. What is this table? Whose table is it? I've never seen it. Come sit. And we decided that in that moment when we started OutPro here in San Diego that we were going to build a new table together. And what's been so beautiful about that is that I've stepped down recently as the founder, but I continually hear from people that go that it's still a very safe place for the trans community. For, I can look back at pictures and that our photographers taken and see this diversity that was so non existent before. And so I get very angry and frustrated at my own community when I hear things like, Oh, you didn't fight for us or we fought for you. It's just simply not true. And that pains me to hear that. So I have the same feeling and thoughts that you do on that whole story. And I think where I hold hope is that through this, which we are going through, I firmly believe that in breakdown and great breakdowns come great breakthroughs and. Maybe, just maybe, through this divisiveness, through this loss of our rights and the things that could potentially come at us over the next year or two or four, that we finally realize that as a community, we are much more powerful together. And that includes everyone. All letters of the acronym. And that when it comes down to it, at the basic level, which to me is the monumental level, we're all human beings. At the end of the day, we're a human being. And when we start talking about parts and we start talking about all of that, I sit back and I go, Oh, for the love of Pete, we are human beings, right? Your preferences are your preferences, your choices are your choices. And that we just need to simply love each other and respect each other for those differences. And. It is never, it's always bothered me that it was always about this, the sexuality of it or the sexualness of it. And at the end of the day, it's not about that. It really isn't. And we have to shift our community conversation on that. It's one of the reasons why I'm still single is because I just can't wrap my head around this conversation that so many hold. And yet I love spending time with my lesbian friends and my trans friends because I see them as human beings. I don't see them as that descriptor. Does that make sense? Yeah, I was like, I guess the parts is when they talk about, we're not hopping into the sack with everybody. No, I was like, do we want to? I don't exactly. So I'm like, it's I, when I say that it's for me, it's like when, if we're supposed to go to that level, then that's where I sit. But I'm like, as, but that's my preference and everybody's allowed to have one. But if a lesbian goes, hey, I just, You're great, but I want a female, I want the long hair, I want X, Y, and Z. Great! Why can't we be friends? I'm not it for you in the bedroom, but why can't I be it for you for a cup of coffee? Why can't I be it for you to tell me that you've had a hard day? Why can't I be it for you to be like my mom or dad or brother or what? You're just my work. Why can't I be it for you as a friend? Why is it always either we're going to the bedroom or I don't want anything to do with you? And that's what I feel like we've lost that. Where it's, we're, that's the community. That's the whole point is I can't bring you to this little selection, but I have so much more to offer than just the bedroom. I'm a really good listener. I think I'm a really good friend. I like to show up. I enjoy coffee. I'd like to go out and have food and try things and travel and, you could live in this area. Like why it's tied to one small thing that not everybody fits. And that is mind boggling to me is why can't we all just be friends and getting friends as adults is already hard enough hard. So I'm like, let's start there. Let's just start there. I'm like, I fully respect any lesbian that goes, you look like a man and that's not what I want because I'm a lesbian. Perfect. But do you like coffee? It's hot outside. You like ice cream? Let's go chat. I'll be your wingman. Do you see that woman over there? Absolutely. You want me to go talk to her for you? If you're single I will totally be that guy. And then you could maybe do the same for me. I don't, I think it's all about relationship building and we're so stuck in that our only relationship buildings are relationships for marriage and for the bedrooms. And we're forgetting about the other part of the relationships. Relationships in general could be, an entire podcast. In fact, if anyone's listening, that's a great relationship coach. Let's get you on because this is my one kind of disappointment in my last four years here in San Diego is it's been so hard to make friends. And I started an organization that had hundreds of people show up. And yet, it's we're in this world of, I'm busy or I've got too much to do. And I hear this from so many of my friends, it's building friendships at our age, I'm a little bit older than you, is really difficult. And I'm with you. It's I just want to go for a cup of coffee. I don't necessarily want to go, marry you and kids tomorrow. Maybe later, but not tomorrow. So I could again talk to you all day long. But what do you see the next for you for Archer? What do you see the next couple of years look like? And how can we support you in this path that you've taken in bringing joy and bringing awareness and bringing authenticity to the world? Right now. I'm playing with a couple of different projects that I won't talk about just yet. To promise to come back and talk about them later. I promise. And it's basically just positivity safe space. That I feel like we need to have more of and I think just showing up and being there, having resources where we can. And so the next few years, I just plan on still creating content, being there, having a safe space, really good convex where I can, if people want to call me a girl, then fantastic girl power. I just am here for. Whatever I can do. And so supporting me and creators like me is going and hitting all of the buttons for all of the things so that they see us as valuable on these platforms. But really just worst case scenario, I'm like, I, we need a place to have an open couch and I would, that'd be the top of the line support. But hopefully it can just be that we have this. community that comes together again that we're able to be the way I see it, the final battle at Hogwarts where everybody's together. And I know I mentioned Harry Potter and everybody has an issue with J. K. Rowling and they'll say, we can love the art, not the artist, coming from a trans person. So I want to get to that point again, where we're all standing on the same page. Fighting for the bigger cause, which is that the five year old or the 12 year old that is explaining who they are, that they are seen as that. And I think that's what I've heard recently is. There's a lot of children and the children don't know what they're talking about and the children are coming out as trans and we're going for the kids and they're hearing it's one side versus the other on these parents are letting their kids just be boys because they say they like blue, even though they're a girl and vice versa. And that's not the case. I think kids know I knew at five and I'd mentioned that in my last episode, but I genuinely knew at five. And. I think if we listen, we can give them the chance to make it to trans adults, because trans adults say they wish they trans as teens. I wish that I could have transitioned as a teen. Trans 20s, same thing, and trans teens are wishing they could trans, transition now. 5 year olds are not transitioning and having surgeries, and 10 year olds are not having surgeries. But if we listen to a five year old boy who says that he has a little girlfriend in school and we go, Oh, you never know. Maybe you'll be married. And that you're listening to him say that he's straight and he knows what he's talking about at five. Why are we questioning the five year old girl who says that she likes girls or the five year old girl that says that she's a boy? Why are we cherry picking which five year olds know what they're talking about? So I'd like to stop that as well. If anybody can ship that conversation, you can. And I think by again, just being out and being you and being a gift to this world that you are, I think we will see those days. I want people to know that this. Podcast is a safe space and that you're a safe space. I think I lose sleep at night worrying about these kids and these children that are going through this, that feel alone and feel that they have nowhere to turn. Maybe their parents aren't supporting them. When I was talking with Bambi, their big goal in LA is to open up this new center and provide that opportunity and that. That space for people to come and to talk and to get educated and get support and the services that they offer. There's so many out there. LA isn't the only place. And I think the more again, that we can talk about it, the more we can get word out that there are opportunities to talk and to be heard and to be seen is really important. And. I am committed myself to turn off the news, to turn off those channels. I've gotten rid of a few platforms that are no longer serving me. It's been like a rebirth. I'm the happiest I've been in the last six, seven, eight years. Focusing on my podcast, focusing on meeting people like you and bringing. to others like you is what is my commitment to help the community. So I'm going to say thank you for being on today. I, again, if we lived closer, you'd have that best friend. We'd be going for coffee a lot. Or as we discussed earlier, zero proof beer which you can have the beer I'm going for the cocktail, but try one now. You'll have to for sure. Anything you want to say in, in closing as we wrap up this conversation. I'm just super glad that you asked me back and my DMs are open. I'm more than willing to help in any way that I can. And just be a safe space. And I would like to be a safe space to anybody that I can be. Same. So I appreciate it. Yeah, we're going to put a link to not only your social media, but also your YouTube channel in our social media as well. So people can go follow you. Thanks for being here. And thanks for being such an amazing guy. Appreciate you. Have a good one. All right, everyone. Thank you again for joining us on today's episode. I hope our conversation resonated with you like it did me, and I cannot wait to sit down with you all again next week. Remember to subscribe to the Just You Podcast on your favorite platform so you can make sure not to miss a new episode, which drop every Thursday. If you like what you hear, you can easily share the podcast and episode. Directly with your friends. And if you would rate us and leave us a review, we'd love to hear from you. You can also follow us on Instagram at just do you pod. As you go out into the world today, remember to just do you. All right. Talk next week.